Have you ever had to wear compression support hose or compression stockings after a surgery? Do you have an illness that requires you to wear them on a daily basis? If so, you know those suckers are not easy to put on if you have ANY type of weakness in your upper body.
Add a ruptured disk compressing a root nerve to the mix, and it’s just an absolutely good time! Yes, I’m being sarcastic.
This morning, I thought I was going to have to call our volunteer first responders after dragging and pulling on my support hose.
I woke up knowing it was going to be a rough day when I couldn’t quite feel my hands. Sure enough, they were swollen. My normally slim fingers looked like fat sausages, and I could barely text my husband at work to let him know I did survive another night.
After flexing my leg muscles to try and get some blood flowing to my brain, I rose up slowly, grabbed my rollator, and started the daily routine of “suiting up.” This consists of compressing everything!
Let me tell you, it’s not easy putting on support hose when your fingers feel like they should belong to The Incredible Hulk.
I’m not sure how the rest of you put on compression stockings, but I sit on the side of the bed to get them over my feet. Then I lie down and take a break. Otherwise I’m going to pass out. Remember I have this weird thing called dysautonomia.
As I’m lying there this morning, Phoebe the Dachshund starts licking me in the face. Great. I forgot to kick her out of the bedroom.
I have compression hose down around my ankles.
My back is aching.
There’s a dog licking my face.
My Incredible Hulk hands are numb again.
My mom and brother are coming for a visit in a few hours.
Can I just call First Responders and ask for help? It’s a small community. I know most of them. I wonder if this qualifies as an emergency? “Hey so-and-so! I’m about to lose my mind up in here! Need a little help putting on these hose! I taught your kid back in the day.”
Then it dawned on me I probably didn’t want those people to see me in my undies. So I prayed. Hey, I’ve been through worse, right? I get epidural spinal block injections. I’ve got this! It’s JUST compression hose.
Renewed in the believe that YES, I CAN overcome this obstacle, I yanked those compression stockings the rest of the way home! Yay! The white walls dimmed to gray. Hold up. It was time to lay my booty down. I had to rest awhile.
Luckily my body pillow and bed wedge was nearby. Phoebe snuggled under the quilt with me for a nap. Next on the agenda was compressing the abdomen with a binder using my foreign weird looking hands, but it just had to wait.