Hey Migraine! You Suck!

You did it again. It’s not like I had anything PLANNED last night. Granted, I AM in bed or the recliner 90% of the time. But did you ever stop to think maybe that 10% is left for the time when my HUSBAND shows up home from work? So why did you decide to SLAM me with a BRAIN EXPLODING attack right around 5:00 pm yesterday?  Yes, I know a storm system just passed through, and that’s one of my triggers. I don’t care! Normally, I go from a 6 to a 9 on the pain scale!  I have some time to take my Midrin, grab my rollator, shuffle to the bed if I’m not already there, text my husband, and settle down for the torture.

You gave me NO warning yesterday.

We’ve been together TWENTY-SEVEN YEARS!  I thought I knew you.

Phoebe the Dachshund and I had just peeked out the window and noticed the high winds had knocked down an oak limb, narrowly missing our car, when you viciously attacked me!  I stumbled into my rollator while grabbing both sides of my head.  “Is this a stroke?!” My mind was scrambling to make my body work, but YOU know what you did!  Nausea gripped me as I tried to bring my blurry eyes into focus.  I grasped my rollator and stumbled into the bedroom only to realize I didn’t have a drink to swallow medications.

I laid down and texted my husband, “Oh God I just got slammed with a migraine baby.”  This isn’t anything new as YOU know!

With my eyes squinted, I went back into the kitchen and grabbed a Sprite.  I felt my blood pressure dropping thanks to dysautonomia, but you don’t care that migraine isn’t the only disease I battle, do you?

I swallowed two Midrin like I’m supposed to do.  I followed the directions for the Midrin.  My lousy jacked up stomach didn’t digest the Midrin and by then, I was lying in bed looking at Phoebe wondering if she would eat me if my head exploded into a million pieces.

It’s all your fault, Migraine.  You went to a NINE almost immediately.

I was writhing around in bed when my husband called to tell me he was off from work.  By then, I was crying.  From frustration.  From Anger.  From depression.  From pain.  From knowing we have a chance of storms today!

I hit the Stadol, Migraine.  You made me use my emergency “highly addictive” pain medication that makes me feel like I’m a drug addict by all the stupid idiots who don’t have chronic migraines and have NO clue what it feels like to live with you for TWENTY-SEVEN years! You and I know I rarely use it. My husband knows it too.  Try telling that to any other doctor who sees me other than my pain management doctor!  Try telling that to anyone who knows I use ANY pain medication at all.

Today, you’re still back there, Migraine.  I can feel you.  You’re a dull ache even though I’m on Topamax because otherwise you’d visit me every day of my life.  I’d like to say if you show up ONE more time, I’ll do “fill in the blank,” but we both know I can’t do a SINGLE thing to get rid of you!  I am stuck in this toxic relationship.

So, I will spend today hydrating, praying to God you go completely away, and that I didn’t just hear some thunder.

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